aqilah musfirah
"The girl in the mirror wasn't who I wanted to be
and her life wasn't the one I wanted to have"

Proud to be a mariner.
I don't make promises that I can't keep.

[view my profile]

Thursday, April 29, 2010

How to autoplay youtube

So someone (whoever you are. lol) asked me via formspring on how to autoplay Youtube. My formspring has some problems so I'd just answer your question here, aite?^^

First, grab the embed code..
Height and width adjust sendiri ahh... Mine is: height=100, width=200

Add in "&autoplay=1" after the second url in the embed code.
[click the image to enlarge]

If you still don't get it, click here.

Okie~ that's all :)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Chapitre 3

Went for JPJ test yesterday and I, yes, although almost impossible, PASSED! Oh. My. Gawdddddd!!!!! Thank God!!!! I was so, so, so, nervous! I still couldn't believe it. Lol. Thanks also for those who wished me luck. I DID get lucky, after all ;D

At first, I thought I would be alone there, not knowing anyone, and nobody knows who I am. Even though I'm not the person who couldn't be alone, but it was different there. Nobody would understand why but me. And God, of course. Fortunately, I met a couple of people there. The first one was my tutor's nephew-in-law(The kind that works in a salon and learns about make-ups, I didn't catch his name, hahah! It's ok, I don't think he caught mine, too. Lol). Really friendly, and er, like gossiping. (=.=") The other one was an ex-schoolmate whom I never remember speaking to and we talked as if we've known each other (He was the school's sportsman of the year once, so of course I recognize him, what I didn't know is that he knows me too, =.=" well, barely, maybe.). I think it was a bit weird, but I guess people do that when they have no one else to talk to. So there, I wasn't alone, and again, Thank God!

I've opened a new account in Bank Rakyat. Accepted the offer letter from KML. So maybe I AM going. Only, my parents haven't bought any ticket yet and I'm afraid it might run out. =.= To be honest, Matriks is not my first choice. I prefer foundation but unfortunately, we couldn't afford it. So I'll do anything NOT to get myself into Form 6. Because I despise Form 6. I only see myself cutting classes if I signed up for Form 6. So there, the best for now: Matrikulasi. Done.

Confession #9: It is extremely hard for me to hate people. Same goes to get over something.

Confession #10: I think every person's life is like a movie. Full of drama. Only, happy ending is so much more hard to achieve.

Tomorrow's Epal's bday. And we're going out to celebrate it. Well, sort of.
That's the present I bought for her. What's in it? Well, that'd have to wait~

Confession #11:  I can't think of any appropriate present to buy for anyone. So if I buy you a gift and it's not much for your liking, I'm sorry =.=" Hahaha!

I SO wanna watch BEASTLY. Check out the trailer! :

It's like the modern version of Beauty and the Beast! Hearts!!!!

Confession #12: Sometimes I couldn't care less about myself.

Confession #13: I pretend like everything's alright when it actually kills me inside.

p.s. I'm soooooooo lovin' Taylor swift's Forever and Always.

Monday, April 26, 2010


Hiya! My parents bought two new kittens and their names are as stated above. Milo was actually Willow at first. Willow was my suggestion, because I think it's like White+Yellow=Willow. And Choco was Coco at first. Ifa likes it better if Willow is called Milo, so we changed it. Since she changed Willow to Milo, then I decided I'll change Coco to Choco. Sounds cuter, I think?? Lol! They are sooooooo adorable, reminds me of Mickey, but Mickey was more manja! :(((((

* * * * * *

I really, really wanna play some musical instruments. The only one I know how to play is organ. Many people don't know what that is so I'll show you what it is.
That's an organ. Itu bukan piano, ya. Although I DO know how to play piano a bit, but let's just say I only know 5%. In fact, I think I can only play TWO songs with piano. Ceh cehhh! Organ pun x pass lagi. Menyesal quit time umur 12 tahun dulu. Stress UPSR konon. Can you believe it? UPSR??!! UPSR??!!! Bagus2 parents baik mahu kasih belajar organ. Huh. Anyway, sekarang saya lupa2 sudah macamana mahu main itu organ. OMG. Organ pun rosak sudah. =.="
Saya betul2 berharap pandai main ini benda
Tetapi, apakan daya. . . T____T  Haiizzzz...

* * * * * * 

Today I went for an hour driving lesson 'cuz tomorrow I'll be having JPJ test. It's sad when I think back what I usually do after I've finished each driving lesson, because I know I could never do that again. But I'll be fine, I guess. Just wish me luck for tomorrow :)
I really, really don't wanna screw this up!

* * * * * *

There are too many movies I've finished downloading but haven't watched. Not to worry. I have so much time to kill.
I'm downloading Resident Evil 5 for PC
I was thinking:
- I have a joystick for PC
- I'm bored
- Flashget is kinda fast
- I'm bored
- I'm bored
so why not, right?
The trailer:

Harap2 boleh main!

* * * * * *

I worry about my weight. It never reaches 46kg anymore. But it's not that bad, right? Right??????

* * * * * *
 I think I'm winning :)

Friday, April 23, 2010

Chapitre 2

Re-watched Alice in Wonderland today.

Confession #4: People always claim that reality is cruel. But I think dreams are way more cruel than reality. Because the moment you wake up from your so-called beautiful, magical, wonderful dreams, you'll realize that you actually have nothing at all. Reality isn't the one that should be blamed in this case. The blames should be on dreams. Because they give you too much hope, too much expectation. They convinced you for a moment that you've got everything under control. That your life couldn't be any more perfect. And just when you open your eyes and look around, you realize how messed up you really are. And there, you'll be, like, "Curse you, reality!!". Even though it was dreams that make us believe as if we have no limits at all. While reality did nothing. See what I mean?

Confession #5: When you dream of a person in your sleep, it means that the person really wants to see you. I believe everybody heard that before. Most people believe in that. But are you sure it's true? Because I don't think so. Here's what I really believe, when you dream of someone, it means you really miss that 'someone' and that YOU are the one who's dying to see that 'someone'. Makes sense, right?

Confession #6: I can cry while listening to sad songs.

Confession #7: I cry whenever I see dead kitties or dogs on the streets. I cry whenever I see animals dying, even in movies. Seeing homeless cats and dogs also SOMETIMES get me teary eyed. Call me weird, but at least I'm real. I just think that they deserve a better life, too. If I ever see anyone hurting animal on purpose, maybe I'd do something without thinking.

Confession #8: Although it's not necessary for me to make a confession about this, but yes, I'm a crybaby.

Until next time.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

yes to movies but no to cinemas...

 First of all, it's raining! ;)

Just finished watching (500) Days of Summer

Is it just me or Zooey Deschanel really looks a lot like Katy Perry??
Left: Katy Perry. Right: Zooey Deschanel.
Well, anyway, nice movie :) Thanks to Yeye!

I've been downloading movies since a few days ago. Movies at home. Yay? Maybe it's too distract myself. Or maybe it's so that I don't have to think too much. Or maybe I just wanna kill some time. I'm not quite sure.

Oh, right. About the title. I don't wanna go to cinemas for the time being. There's certain places I'm avoiding. But I love movies! So I guess I'll just download 'em. Why bother paying for tickets or buying DVDs when you can watch them for free, right?

Currently interested in movies about life. Just FYI.

Conffesions of a Teenage *insert anything that u think might suit me most*

Confession #1: Actually, screw further studies! If I had ever said that I can't wait to go for further study, it was just one of my beautiful lies. Because if that's true, I'll be somewhere else right know, taking foundation study. I just wanted to linger here for as long as I can with loved ones. But now that loads of things changed, I decide to change my mind, too. I wanna get my ass OFF here as soon as possible. I need a new environment so that I can tell myself that I'll start from scratch again and I'm not going to screw up this time. No more taking things for granted. And maybe, just maybe, I'm using "further studies" as my so-called excuse to run far, far away from here. Of course, KML seems to be my closest getaway. But the facts that
A) my parents not only show zero interest in KML, but a total of -20000000000000000
B) there are ceaseless water problems at KML
are not helping at all. So we'll see.
It's not that I don't like it here. I do. I really do. How could I not? This is the place where I grew up. A lot of unforgettable...things happened here. Loads of memories which I always occur to remember. Be it sad or happy. Sweet or bitter. Painful or gleeful. But that's the problem. It's been to much. I can't take it anymore. And I just want a sweet escape. Well, if you consider studying sweet.

Confession  #2: Although I know it's 101% useless, I still give a damn. I still care. 24/7. I think I know for what reason. The one which makes me a complete idiot.

Confession #3: This oldies song's been stuck in my head since a while ago. This version:
Is the singer to blame? LOL.

* * *

Well? I guess that's all the confessions for now. Lots more are coming next time.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


KML seems perfect. Yeah, MINUS THE WATER PROBLEMS & the hotter than the already-hot weather in kk.

So I guess I better wait for upu, which I was hoping I would get the offer for foundation study. Otherwise, well, there's no harm in not taking showers for a few days. NOT! Cuz that's gross! Eww!

But.. But.. I wanna go for further studies
ASAP. And matriks starts the earliest. .

Hmm.. Again, indecisive. Whatever happens, happens, I guess. Although I did quite regret I didn't send the YS form.

But no matter what, you won't be seeing me going to form 6! Never again will u see me in white uniform. Never, mother! Ha!

Sunday, April 18, 2010


First of all, I'm glad I have a phone that comes with wifi. I don't have to get up from bed when I'm not feeling well to go online to kill some time. Thanks very much.

I deleted all of my previous entries but the one about 'losing Mickey'..

I'll be on hiatus until God knows when.

Until then.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Give any title u want..

The whole world doesn't have to know..

Friday, April 16, 2010

Flood me with feel-good songs, please..

I'm not doing pretty good lately. But it's time to wake up. I wanna feel alive again because I'm worth it.

I got accepted at Matriks :D (Alhamdulillah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Sure, it's far away and well, boring, but it offers the shortest duration for me to complete this one step before going for a degree. Which means the best option for the time being.

I deleted loads of songs in my mp3 recently. And now my 2GB memory card is just filled with less than 80 songs. So read the title again and please do so :)

p.s. Don't give me sad song (=.=").. Suggest the ones that inspire and give you spirit, aite? ^^

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Goodbye, Mickey :( We'll never forget you..

Remember this kitty? I made a post about her exactly a week ago, when she first came into my house. And I just gave her a name 'Mickey' ('cuz she had huge ears and long, pointy tail.) recently so that they won't keep calling her 'Likas'. She was the only kitten left in my house. Also the kitty who always finds people for love (since all the other cats in here were not a fan of her). Also the kitty to follow me every second wherever I go. Also the kitten who never stops making the cutest annoying sounds I have ever heard (She might have been here for only a week, but it'll definitely take loads of time for me to get used to her eternal absence). She was also the kitten who'll sleep on my lap every morning while I was eating my breakfast, watching tv and even when I go online. When I really had to get up to do something, I'd put her aside, on the couch, hoping that it wouldn't wake her up. But no, she MUST woke up. And then she'll run after me! How cute :')

Dad and Ifa found her somewhere at Likas. The people who dumped her was really fckin heartless! She was found wrapped in only towel at the corner of the street. That was a very dangerous place to leave an innocent kitten. Why can't that *&@#$ person at least dump her at Kosan?? Where there are loads of restaurants and people who would feel sorry for her and maybe kind enough to give her a place called home! Dad brought her home after a couple of days he saw her. Dad was always like that. Whenever he sees any animal left just like that, he'll bring it home. As far as I can remember, he'd brought back an injured swallow and tekukur, a rare green bird (which died the day we finally purchased a pink-coloured cage for her, which was then used to place any injured bird - due to my evil kitties - until they're good enough to go), other birds, I-don't-know-how-many-kittens/cats  and last but not least, Mickey (although Mum still insists to call her LIKAS. Ugh.). Everybody in this house loved Mickey very much and we will always do. Oh how we want to watch her grow :'( How we want to watch her grow healthily. . .

 She was sick even before the moment she stepped into this house. She could never breathe right. Always panting. However, like any other kittens, she was playful. She was the most active sick kitten I've ever seen. She'll walk from spot to spot and then would have to stop from time to time in order to catch her breath. She died yesterday because of her sickness. She had trouble breathing yesterday, she always did, but yesterday's was way more serious. And I, didn't wanna believe what I was thinking just told myself "She'll  be ok, she'll be ok, she'll be okay.." , and so forth. I watched her gasping for air. I watched her suffer. I watched her fighting for her life. I WATCHED HER DIE. She breathed her last breath while I was still holding her in my arms. And then she froze. I froze. I cried. She was in my arms, her body lying motionlessly, her eyes wide opened, staring but not seeing. I couldn't believe it, I just couldn't. It hurts watching her suffer and not being able to do anything to help her. I was thinking all night long, 'What if we brought her to a vet earlier?', 'What if I can drive already?', 'What if I know anything about how to save a trouble-breathing kitty?' and so on. After I hand her over to my brother, I went to my room. I trained myself not to cry too much anymore and it was so well I never cried for more than 30min anymore until yesterday. I cried for more than a couple of hours and could still go on if I hadn't ran out of tears. I just couldn't hold back my tears. And I just couldn't help blaming myself for what happened. I even had trouble sleeping last night.

That was her on Iqa's neck. Soooooo manja kan?? ;)

She was buried last night at the back of my house.
Goodbye, Mickey. May you rest in peace.

p.s. I'm in tears again. I really miss you, Mickey :')

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