aqilah musfirah
"The girl in the mirror wasn't who I wanted to be
and her life wasn't the one I wanted to have"

Proud to be a mariner.
I don't make promises that I can't keep.

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Tuesday, April 21, 2015

But I will

Oh the things I do just to get by...

Vintage Banner Pictures, Images and Photos

Monday, April 13, 2015

Familiar faces

Last night. 

Again, I dreamt of the faces that I haven't seen in a very long time. We're talking about half a decade amount of time here.

It's not that I missed them. Not that I've been thinking of most of them, either. I don't even have the extra space in the clouds of my messy mind to do that, anymore.

And among all those faces, I see you.

Communicating in ways like we used to long ago. Trying to be secretive but failed and having people throwing suspicious glances at us.

You looked like the way you used to look and I wasn't quite sure how I looked like in that dream. 

It was a first-person view kind of dream. I don't know about you, but my dreams have always been in a first-person view mode, hence they tend to make me feel like they were somehow real. My dreams were often terrifying, but most of the time, they don't compare to what I have to face everyday.

This dream. I don't even remember all of it. I just remember those familiar faces. With different background settings. Because somehow we ended up somewhere that looked like an exotic ancient building. Could it be because I have always wanted to visit such places? Who knows.

We were on good terms. In fact, all of us were. We talked and watched movies and made silly comments about the movie and we laughed. We had a good time. And when the movie was over, nobody moved. No one left. Neither did we.

That was all I could remember.

Now that I think of it, it wasn't last night. It was today. After I was done with my Fajr prayer (I know. Going back to sleep after the fajr prayer is not recommendable, but hey, nobody's purr-fect).

And to be honest, this is not the first time I've been dreaming these kinds of dreams. But lately, I tend to dream about it A LOT. I don't even know what is the meaning behind those dreams. Or if it has any meaning, at all.

I've been asking for signs. For answers. Not just for this, but for every thing. For as long as I can remember. But maybe, just maybe, I've been looking for them at the wrong place.

Vintage Banner Pictures, Images and Photos

Monday, April 6, 2015

The sunflower that grows at the end of Spring

On the other shore of sadness,
It is said that there is a smile,
Finally we arrived.
But what are we waiting for?

The purpose is not to run away,
It’s to chase after dreams
We should have gone out to travel
On that summer day so long ago

In a place worn down by sadness,
something called a miracle is waiting
Yet we are still searching
for the sunflower that grows at the end of Spring

The warrior who awaits the morning light
before he can clasp it with red nails,
his tears glitter and fall

Even if we’ve grown used to loneliness
only relying on the light of the moon
We have to fly away with featherless wing
Just go forward, just a little further

Even tomorrow, if you see it
Though there isn’t a sigh either.
Like a ship going against the current flow.
Right now, go forward, move ahead.

Even if it cuts through the rain and clouds,
The wet roads shine,
Only the dark will teach,
A stronger and stronger light,
Be strong, go forward, move ahead.

Vintage Banner Pictures, Images and Photos

credits: parkminnie
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