aqilah musfirah
"The girl in the mirror wasn't who I wanted to be
and her life wasn't the one I wanted to have"

Proud to be a mariner.
I don't make promises that I can't keep.

[view my profile]

Friday, December 26, 2014


I should be home right now.
But I'm not. I wanted to and I could be there, but I chose not to.

This is not me opening up about the story of my life.
Nor is this some sort of confessions (Wait. Is there any difference, at all?).
In fact, I don't even KNOW what this is,

It's not like I have no one to talk to.
I do, I have people who actually CARE for me.
But of all the things I am, "selfish" and "self-centered" are not one of them.
No matter how much they care for me, I'd NEVER want to be an extra baggage to them when they could barely handle their own.

Plus talking about reality (MY reality) makes me feel weak.
In fact,blogging about this has already made me feel 1000000000 times weaker.
And I hate feeling weak (Who doesn't?). 

Just posting about this makes me feel like I'm betraying myself.
Once upon a time, I promise to share happy stuff and only happy stuff on this blog. 
So I deleted most of the depressing past entries. 
Sad posts don't really go well with the decorations of this cute, pinkish blog, anyway.
Guess that didn't work out.
(OMG I feel like an attention-seeking over-reacting very-brokenhearted dumb, immature, infatuated girl who'd just got dumped by her jerk boyfriend and thinks that it's the end of her life, I SO friggin' hate myself right now)

Living in denial will have to make do, for now.

P.S. You DID NOT read this (Compulsion *as seen on The Vampire Diaries, a TV show which only gets stupider with time and only aims to please the DELENA fanbase nowadays*)

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