aqilah musfirah
"The girl in the mirror wasn't who I wanted to be
and her life wasn't the one I wanted to have"

Proud to be a mariner.
I don't make promises that I can't keep.

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Monday, April 13, 2015

Familiar faces

Last night. 

Again, I dreamt of the faces that I haven't seen in a very long time. We're talking about half a decade amount of time here.

It's not that I missed them. Not that I've been thinking of most of them, either. I don't even have the extra space in the clouds of my messy mind to do that, anymore.

And among all those faces, I see you.

Communicating in ways like we used to long ago. Trying to be secretive but failed and having people throwing suspicious glances at us.

You looked like the way you used to look and I wasn't quite sure how I looked like in that dream. 

It was a first-person view kind of dream. I don't know about you, but my dreams have always been in a first-person view mode, hence they tend to make me feel like they were somehow real. My dreams were often terrifying, but most of the time, they don't compare to what I have to face everyday.

This dream. I don't even remember all of it. I just remember those familiar faces. With different background settings. Because somehow we ended up somewhere that looked like an exotic ancient building. Could it be because I have always wanted to visit such places? Who knows.

We were on good terms. In fact, all of us were. We talked and watched movies and made silly comments about the movie and we laughed. We had a good time. And when the movie was over, nobody moved. No one left. Neither did we.

That was all I could remember.

Now that I think of it, it wasn't last night. It was today. After I was done with my Fajr prayer (I know. Going back to sleep after the fajr prayer is not recommendable, but hey, nobody's purr-fect).

And to be honest, this is not the first time I've been dreaming these kinds of dreams. But lately, I tend to dream about it A LOT. I don't even know what is the meaning behind those dreams. Or if it has any meaning, at all.

I've been asking for signs. For answers. Not just for this, but for every thing. For as long as I can remember. But maybe, just maybe, I've been looking for them at the wrong place.

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