but I have to.
I have to.
But... where am I going to go?
Sure, there's that two-year teaching/PGDE program that sounds rather promising,
but... to be honest, I'm not so certain if I am really up for it anymore.
I already have a LOT on my plate.
Am I really that tough to endure extra responsibilities in life?
Ones that I cannot ever screw up?
Because this thing, it's like a chain reaction.
If I did good, InshaAllah good things will happen.
Otherwise, someone else's future might be affected,
and NOT in a good way.
I joined that thing in hopes that with what I have (or DON'T have),
I can actually make a positive impact on the lives of others.
I mean, yeah, just because yours suck,
it doesn't mean you can't fight for others to get the life they truly deserve, right?
I don't know, it just seems too risky, right now.
Nevertheless, staying is not option.
Or at least I don't think that it is.
Not right now.
So now we're back to square one.
Where am I going to go?
Where am I going in life?
