Old friend

Dear friend,

If you ever cared about me at all,

then I won't ask for much.

Will you just spare some time to pray for me so that everything will be alright?

Dear "family", 

Thank you for showing me that blood doesn't always equal to family.

Family has to be earned.

Family don't turn their backs on family when they need you the most.

Dear God,

They say that You won't let someone face hardships for more than one could take.

But sometimes, I just wonder.

Why do You believe in us so much? 

I am not strong enough for this.

No one is. And no one will be.

I am grateful for many things, but why?

Why can't You test me like You do with most people?

I keep asking myself "What did I ever do to deserve such fate?"

Why us? Why ME?

Dear you,

You can say whatever you want about me,

but note that I will not let that affect me, in any way.

Because, the truth is, I know you won't last a day in my shoes.

"Why is she like that?",

"She asked for it",

"Why do you choose to live like that?"...

Trust me, I've heard enough. 

My question to you is:

What makes you think I have a choice?

Dear me,

You've been through enough.

You are so tired of everything , that no matter how much you sleep and rest, you'll still be so exhausted. 

Why? 

It's because.. it was your mind that's tired.

I'm sorry. I've tried almost everything, yet the problem is still there.

Hang in there. I hope better things are coming your way soon.

Chain Reaction

I don't want to leave,
but I have to.
I have to.

But... where am I going to go?

Sure, there's that two-year teaching/PGDE program that sounds rather promising,

but... to be honest, I'm not so certain if I am really up for it anymore.

I already have a LOT on my plate.

Am I really that tough to endure extra responsibilities in life?

Ones that I cannot ever screw up?

Because this thing, it's like a chain reaction.

If I did good, InshaAllah good things will happen.

Otherwise, someone else's future might be affected,

and NOT in a good way.

I joined that thing in hopes that with what I have (or DON'T have),

I can actually make a positive impact on the lives of others.

I mean, yeah, just because yours suck,

it doesn't mean you can't fight for others to get the life they truly deserve, right?

I don't know, it just seems too risky, right now.

Nevertheless, staying is not option.

Or at least I don't think that it is.

Not right now.

So now we're back to square one.

Where am I going to go?

Where am I going in life?

Dreaming in the rain

Trust me, I'm not a kpopper. I really am NOT. But this song is just stuck in my head and I somehow find myself raping the replay button. Noooooo *echo* *echo* *echo*

P.S. Enjoy

Rain by Taeyeon

Romanization:

teong bin hoesaek bit georin cham heojeonhae

sseulsseulhan gibune yurichangeul yeoreo

naemin du sonwiro tteoreojin bitbangul

gadeuk goineun geurium naui mame heulleo

waenji nega bogopeun bam

chaoreuneun nunmul

tteooreuneun naui mam sok

biga omyeon naerineun gieoge beonjineun apeume

heumppeok ssodajineun neoreul boda

seonmyeonghaetdeon geu sigane meomchun chae 

chueoge jeojeun chae

areumdawotdeon neoreul geuryeo in the rain

gireotdeon cham nuni busyeotdeon gyejeoldo

sajincheop soge eollukjyeo saegi baraejilkka

jeomjeom gipeoganeun i bam

ijji mothan yaksok

ttatteuthaetdeon pumdo annyeong

biga omyeon naerineun gieoge beonjineun apeume

heumppeok ssodajineun neoreul boda

seonmyeonghaetdeon geu sigane meomchun chae 

chueoge jeojeun chae

areumdawotdeon neoreul geuryeo in the rain

heukbaekppunin sesang sok

hanjulgiui bichi dwaejun neo

(Rain) biga doeeo dagawa

nae yeonghoneul hwanhi balkhyeojwo

Doo-doo-doo-

usan arae najikhaetdeon soksagim Woo-

gaseum han kyeone peojyeo nega deullyeo

oneul haru nae anbureul mutdeusi

pyeonanhan bissori

aryeonhi muldeun gieok neoran bissoge

Woo rain, woo… treaming in the rain

Translation:Empty grey streets feel too bare
I open the glass window out of melancholy
Fallen raindrops atop my two palms
Filling full with loneliness it spills into my heart


Tonight I miss you for some reason
Tears are welling up
Reminiscing you in my heart
Memories come down when it rains, spreading pain
Watching you as you get soaked
Clear in that moment,
wet with memories
I think of you when you were beautiful in the rain
Will even the long season bright with snow
Fade away inside the photo album
This night is growing ever deeper
Unforgotten promises
Your warm embrace, goodbye
Memories come down when it rains, spreading pain
Watching you as you get soaked
Clear in that moment,
wet with memories
I think of you when you were beautiful in the rain
You were my ray of light
in a black and white world
(Rain) be the rain come to me
and shine my soul
Doo-doo-doo-
Quiet whispers under the umbrella Woo-
It spread in the corner of my heart I can hear you
Raindrops are comforting as
if they ask me about my day
Memories that faded within the rain that’s you
Woo, rain, Woo… Dreaming in the rain